Humbled

Yes, the marathon humbled me....I almost posted my PW but not quite, a 4:30.17. So #6 was not meant to be the PR. Needless to say I was very disappointed and felt defeated. If not for some encouraging words after the race I would probably still be downhearted...thanks Rob for taking my pic and being an encourager.
  I had my mind made up going into the race to do or die....and die I did...It was a tough day. I would really like to blame something yet there is nothing to blame. Oh sure it was a tad humid, my shoes were sloshing by mile 14...don't you hate that!
  I never could get into the flow! Even at the start I had to push to get a 9:10! By mile 13 my quads were toast and by mile 15 I had hit the wall. I felt heavy, slow, and defeated.
  Yet I trudged on believing in posting a good time....but then the deal breaker came! Out of nowhere a charlie horse (cramp) hit me in lower left calf that felt like I'd been shot!
  I stopped! Kneaded it out best I could....tried to resume running....I must've been a site! However, even with thoughts of a DNF floating in my head I pressed on.
  I actually passed some folks and I was passed by four people from here on in....many were walking, slowly! I guess the distance got them, too.
  I had to resort to a walk run program at about mile 24. So at the turn I had a 1:59.10, and a 2:31.07 second half. Wow! Talk about experiencing suffering!
  I finished with my head down and lots of confusion. How come I could never find the flow? I struggled the whole way? How come my HM and the 25K were so much easier? What happened? As I look back I do know I hadn't slept well for several days. I think I over ate....I may not have tapered properly.
  I know I trained hard...did the long runs, and had the two good races. I am very disappointed, yet perhaps I am too old for this......you can hear the negativity I am dealing with!
  So my plan? To break four hours in the Marathon!!!! I am planning on transitioning to the roads full time. I am also going to work on my running form. I noticed two of the best runners and how their form was very similar to one another. Short choppy-like stride that was held the whole way!
   I will take it easy for a while....I am going to pick a race to participate in within the next two months, and I will develop another program. I really think the cramp was due to not training on the roads enough.
  BTW, a friend of mine, who beat me in the HM a while back, was in the marathon, we both had a goal of breaking 4hrs. I thought he would do it but he finished around a 5:22. It was a tough day! Peace!